"Three simple rules in life. 1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it. 2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place."
Hiking in the German Alps with my “Puma Girls”
The Berg - a local “october fest”
..I’m feeling good..
It’s an adjustment being “just” me again. But I’ve always been really comfortable in my own skin. I’ve always been a very happy person. And I truly and honestly believe that every single (little) thing happens for a reason. That Skype call from an old friend led me to South Korea and that random dinner in South Korea led me to Germany.
I love the stability and spontenity of my life.
Yesterday, it really dawned on me that I live in germany. I know that sounds absolutely absurd because I’ve lived here now for a year and a half now, but I mean I really live here. It’s not temporary anymore…
I graduated from my masters, got a job and a working visa to go with it and signed a permanent lease for a flat. The flat isn’t just a place to live but actually is my home now. I’ve made countless trips to antique shops and of course ikea, because I am trying to make this flat my home.
One month ago or so, when I got this new job - I was so convinced that this is where I needed to be. I didn’t even consider going back home or anywhere outside of the close proximity to Germany. There was a distinct plan to stay in Germany for 5-10 years and then eventually go back to Canada at some point to really settle.
But things have changed dramatically in the last month and I am questioning my positioning, geographically… It’s strange. Because professionally, I have exactly what I want - actually more than what I expected. I literally have my dream job.
Hopefully this feeling / questioning will fade.
I died 3 years ago.
I was living my dream life, had a beautiful home, a great job, and a wonderful husband. I had everything I ever wanted. Or so I thought.
3 years ago, my husband left me out of the blue.
I was so close to leaving this life. And my family and friends saved me.
Today, I’m living my life the way I was supposed to. It’s not a dream, it’s not a bed of roses, but I am living.
I travel, I love, I write, I hurt and I love more and better than before.
Most of all, I’m not afraid of living. Nothing can hurt me, I survived.
I am not much of a romantic, but I was so in love.
So in love that I was convinced that this was all an elaborate plan to bring me to the one I loved.
The spontaneous quitting of my job. Led to my travels to Korea.
Which led to a dinner time conversation about education in Germany.
Which led to me applying, and getting in to a program in germany.
Which led to me moving to Germany with a lovely flatmate who introduced me to the one I loved.
Our recent livings in Seoul initially brought us together. We shared our expertiences, opening ourselves up to eachother.
I was so convinced that this all happened for a reason, and the reason was to bring me to the one I loved. I was meant to go to Korea - because the conversations surrounding Korea were where we initially connected. I was meant to go to Germany and move in with that particular flatmate. It was him who introduced me to the one I loved.
But now that I don’t have the one I love, I’m not so convinced it was all about love. Perhaps it was more about adventure…
Vienna - it’s been lovely. Thanks for bringing back laughter, spontaneity and fun to my life.
You’ll always have a place in my heart
Dartmouth Reunion. Two of my closest / longest friends visited from Canada.
"Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence."